Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize