all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
