What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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