i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
