love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
