Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
