She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
