"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
