we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
