Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
