Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Apparently you make a good broom.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
