My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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