If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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