god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
