You're my little dorito
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
