he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There's always time for handjobs
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
