I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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