Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
