when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
