Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
