I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
