One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
