Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize