The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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