Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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