well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
