This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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