Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think a kid would responsible me up
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
