Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
