Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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