There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
