Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize