Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
