he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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