So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
