the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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