you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
