Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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