No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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