Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
