think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
