The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
