We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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