is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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