Whod you bang
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
