id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
