Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize