Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
