my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
