You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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