I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
