Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
