6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
