I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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