Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize