I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
