I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
