When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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