WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
