Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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