I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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